Last month, I celebrated one year of working for myself full-time. It’s also the most inadequate I’ve felt in a very long time. Things haven’t been going my way, and it caused me to feel like a fraud, or as many would formally call it: have imposter syndrome. I started thinking a lot of the same things that aspiring entrepreneurs struggle with:
“I’m not ready to launch x.”
“Who am I to teach y?”
“They won’t hire me because I don’t ______.”
“I can’t charge too much because_____.”
“I need to rebrand. My website isn’t nice enough.”
These thoughts were triggered by some rude awakenings. I didn’t get accepted to the MyTaughtYou retreat, someone sent another (more expensive) service provider my package and asked them to execute it (instead of just hiring me), a customer who waited for a discount on my $50 bundle turned around and paid someone else $1,000 for a course, and my network marketing team started to fall apart.
I was pissed off, because I felt robbed. I’m passionate, I work hard, I’m great at what I do, why the f*ck was everything going left all of a sudden? I felt like I deserved all those things. And you know what that feeling is called? Entitlement.
It took me some time to realize that my struggle with imposter syndrome came from my feelings of entitlement. We feel like frauds, because our entitlement tells us that we’re amazing, deserving and great, but life constantly shows that we’re not that poppin’. So when an incident knocks us off our proverbial pedestal, we get paranoid and wonder if we were ever good enough to be on it in the first place. That’s when fear waltzes on in.
It makes us afraid to come face to face with one realization: what if we never achieve ____ in spite of how deserving we think we are? Even though I’m gorgeous and educated, what if that is never enough to find a partner? Even though I’m brilliant and passionate about my business, what if success never happens for me? Even though I’m healthy and go to the gym, what if I still get cancer? Even though my resume is immaculate, what if I don’t get the job?
The mind-blowing thing is that you might never achieve what you want, and the only way for you to find out if you will is to go after it. You can let the fear of potentially not achieving something paralyze you, or use faith to keep you going. I’ll share a secret:
Faith and fear require the same effort. It takes the same amount of energy to fear unknown circumstances as it does to have faith in unforeseen miracles.
So what are you going to do? Move towards miracles or let imposter syndrome hold you hostage behind bars of fear? Things will not always work out for us, but let’s break up with our entitlement. The only thing we deserve are the things that we have enough faith in to work for.
The Spark Notes (if you’re not into reading sentimental notes)
- Your entitlement is causing your imposter syndrome and insecurities.
- Fear and faith require the same effort.